I had received an accursed gospel (see Galatians chapter 1:6-9 ) back in my mid teens and for over 30 years I had walked in my own works thinking they were in accordance with God. What was really happening all those years was I was continually deceiving myself, making it about my works or rather my self-righteousness and not the works of Christ Jesus and His righteousness.
What this perverted gospel did, that I believed in, was lay out a formula for “do’s” or should I say “dues” as payment for my place in Heaven. There was no walking by faith and fighting for my salvation. See I Timothy 6:12. Instead I was trained to be unthinking like a robot and always believing I would go directly to Heaven.
It was brought to my attention by a couple of ministers who said they had been praying as to why I appeared to love Jesus but was not receiving Him. They believed the problem was that I had never believed THE GOSPEL because when I was a youth I had accepted an accursed gospel. They believed I had received an unholy spirit rather than God’s Holy Spirit. They said it was for this reason that I was alienated from the Lord. They asked me if I believed this to be true. If I agreed, then I would have to renounce all that I had learned over the previous 30 years and start from the ground up. I agreed because I knew something was amiss. The ministers then prayed with me to receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
Well you would think I would have sought to live according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ right away, but something was still amiss. Within my heart I did not want to completely renounce all that I had learned over the years and I was still leaning on some of those things. I was still not a Christian but a liar and when it was pointed out to me I burst into tears.
Since then, I have completely renounced all that I had learned and now I am re-learning His Word, receiving it and going forth in it. This means I have chosen to give up all my ways and my understanding. Proverbs 3: 5-7 says:
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not unto thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil.”
Am I doing this perfectly? No, but thankfully the Lord is extending me His grace and mercy as my desire is being strengthened by Him to trust Him, acknowledge Him, fear Him and to give up my ways and my understanding.